Songs You Shouldn’t Sing Out Loud

Have you ever re-watched a television show, or re-listened to a song from your childhood and thought, “Wow, that is borderline inappropriate, where were my parents?” and then proceed to ask them about it using their first names because you’re sassy and can’t be tamed?  It happens to the best of us.

I mean, who knew Shaggy was cheating on his girlfriend with the girl next door. When “It Wasn’t Me” was released in 2001, I kid you not, I literally envisioned an emotional Shaggy banging on the bathroom floor as a temper tantrum-like freak out with fists to the ground. Was it my responsibility to know that beneath the upbeat melody and trust-worthy accent, that he was referring to sex? I’m pretty sure that at 11 years old, I was still pretty unclear on the very definition of sex, let alone the jargon that went along with it. Bangin’? Creepin’? I was still shy over kisses in movies when my parents were around. Meanwhile, there I was at 11, singing along to Shaggy’s escapades and utter deceit.

Although Shaggy’s song wasn’t exactly hiding its god-awful message, there are some songs that even today we mistake for charming tunes with meaningless messages. And so in light of songs like “Blurred Lines” making news with rapey innuendos, I figured it to be a good time to take a look back at other charming tunes with less than charming lyrics.

semi charmedSemi-Charmed Life, By Third Eye Blind: A top-down, summer-time drive kind of song, right? Eh, not quite. It’s about a drug user’s descent into crystal meth and his inability to get clean while “wanting something else” amidst his plentiful sexual activities.

I’m packed and I’m holding
I’m smiling, she’s living, she’s golden

I was taking sips of it through my nose/And I wish I could get back there/Someplace back there/Smiling in the pictures you would take/Doing crystal meth will lift you up until you break.

She comes round and she goes down on me
And I make her smile, like a drug for you
Do ever what you wanna do, coming over you

And then I bumped up, I took the hit that I was given

Those little red panties they pass the test
Slide up around the belly, face down on the mattress

Why couldn’t they just stick to something of the “do-do-do-do-do-do-do” caliber?

andreHey Ya, By Outkast: Rated ‘Song of the Decade’ by Grantland, “Hey Ya” is nothing more than an emo kid making light of his revelation on the fact that relationships are a crock.

“If what they say is ‘Nothing is forever’/What makes, what makes, what makes what makes, what makes love the exception?”

Naturally, because the song is masked by Lucy Liu ladies shaking it like a Polaroid picture and lending sugar to neighbors, we proceed belting it out into hairbrushes and dancing around the house when nobody’s home.

“Y’all don’t want to hear me/You just wanna dance.”

And since I started this whole thing talking about television shows from the 90’s, here’s a great example of just how naive we were.

Rocko’s Modern Life: There is literally a phone sex episode, and we missed this reference completely.


Artist to Watch: Jenny O.

Jenny_O_0213_2_bannerSometimes you just need to come home and kick back in the bathtub with some candles and easy listening. It’s not that you’ve had a rough day – you’re just excited to unwind – and this is where Jenny O. comes into play — or at least in my head this is how it happens. NOT by jumping in the bathtub with you, crazy. But, by singing the sweet and honest music she’s become known for.

Although based in Los Angeles, Jennifer Ann Ognibene grew up in Long Island, NY, and attended SUNY Purchase for recording and composition.

Right now, I can’t get enough of her EP Album’s track, “Well Ok, Honey.” Give it a listen, and you’ll see what I mean.

You can expect some truly great things to come from this one.