Nothing says “text your ex” quite like the lonely, desperate, and/or inebriated mind. Just when you’re vulnerable enough due to the whole “transitioning into adulthood with a 9-5 and coming home to an empty apartment every day” thing, your brain is there to mentally f— you.
Brain: “Now is a good time to get in contact with the guy you friend-zoned all throughout senior year. He’s probably still around. Better send a quick note to the ex of four years, too.”
Nope, bad idea. Trust the decisions you made when you weren’t sitting at home on a Friday night, scrolling through your contacts list hoping to land on someone you may have either overlooked, or broken up with. The decision to overlook or break up with them was a good one. How do I know this? Because something told you it was the right thing to do when you had it all together. And you’ll get there again, you lonely Lucy, you. It just takes accepting the fact that you’re going to be uncomfortable for a while. You’re on track to doing big things, and that doesn’t come by regressing.
So when that moment of desperation arises, and you’re playing ‘thumb war’ with your send button, keep in mind these few things you can do instead of make a fool out of yourself.
1. MOST IMPORTANT: Cheesy, but it helps: make a list of the reasons you broke up. Sometimes things don’t ‘stick’ unless you either say them out loud or write them down. We tend to forgive or look past all of a person’s less than shiny moments when we find ourselves having only like, two people and a pizza from down the street to talk to.
2. Tinder – Did I just say “instead of make a fool out of yourself“? To be fair, meeting someone new is a much better idea than what you had planned. Clearly, you’re craving some kind of attention. You’re human, and it’s natural. While some might argue that being lonely is no reason to get involved with anyone new, I say, who needs involvement? You might look at Tinder as seriously as a relationship app, or as loosely as a booty call app. For this example, try seeing it strictly as a way to meet people. That way, you withhold expectations. It gets you out of the apartment, gives you something to look forward to, and gives you a better reason than texting your ex, to look at your phone. A free drink may or may not be included.
3. MeetUp.com – If meeting people who may be taking Tinder either more or less seriously than you are freaks you out, then try MeetUp. I mean, you’re wrestling with whether or not you should contact someone from your past, which makes me think that you’re bored to death in a new city. According to my super cool web analytic tools, that’s the majority of the Jules and Java audience. I;m sorry to call you out like that. MeetUp is a great networking tool for anyone new to an area looking to meet people, whether for professional or simply recreational reasons. You’ll find groups that range from “Physics nerds in D.C.” to “Bike Tours for Wine-Os”. There is something for everyone!
4. Schedule a Skype date with your old friends from college. That’s like, virtually face-to-face contact with another human!
5. Download the Dictionary app and search the definition of the word “insanity”.
Okay, I’m antsy. I’ll tell you what insanity means. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.