Rant, Relationships

Tinder Photo Dont’s For Guys


Photo, via The Berry

Simply because I feel like these things need to be addressed…

If I had a dollar for every guy on Tinder who’s posed with a dead fish in his hands, I’d more than likely be able to pay off my student loan. What about a deceased animal is going to impress me? Great, you cast a line and got a bite. If you think this will work with your dating game, you’re wrong.

Posting a picture with a baby doesn’t make you a nice guy. It makes you a guy that’s posted a picture with a baby. Whose baby is it? Before giving you the benefit of the doubt, I’ve already swiped left.

The “my friends downloaded it onto my phone” About Me profile: you are a liar.

Anytime you come across a straight ten standing next to a five, chances are, the rest of the pictures are of the five, and your hopes were much too high. God, people are so deceiving.

If every photo you take is of you and ten dudes: I’ve swiped left. At this point, I don’t even have to see a picture of you to understand that you’re the ugly friend.

I like animals, dogs especially. However, I’m not trying to date your dog. In fact, I’m pretty sure that kind of thing is illegal in like, all fifty states. Do yourself a favor and post a picture of yourSELF as opposed to your animal.

Abs. Listen, we haven’t even met yet. I’m not supposed to know what goes on beneath the fabric of your life. Why jump the gun when we can just exchange a few pathetic text messages back and forth, seeming genuinely interested in how the other’s day is going? Also, you are a class A Douche.


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