So You’re Meeting Her Parents

Meeting the parents used to be as easy as needing a ride from the movie you were just sucking face to. You’d shamefully walk up to her mother’s minivan with a splotchy face and messed up hair – you may as well have had an “I just violated your daughter” sign stamped across your forehead.

But that was different. You were one of many that would enter into her teenage years. You had an expiration date, and her parents probably took bets on when it would be.

Meeting her parents now is a much different story. (I speak as if you don’t already know this. I apologize.) But really, it’s a whole different level. Once you hit post-grad dating, anyone you bring home could be the one that sticks around. (If this were a movie, the music would have totally gotten a lot a bit more intense just now.)

Meeting the parents is more or less making it known to the people that matter most in her life that you have an interest in her that goes deeper than whatever she had with the naked college boyfriend they met on accident the morning they decided to surprise her with a visit.

So without further adieu, here’s what you should consider before ringing the doorbell.

“Clothing Makes the Man”

Mark Twain had it right. There is no better immediate indication of your personality than what’s on your back. Your style speaks before you do. You don’t necessarily have to be stylish, you just have to be polished. Iron if you need to iron. Button your top button. And for the love of God, if you don’t know how to give a decent handshake, PRACTICE. If there’s one thing dads like mine hate, it’s a dead fish handshake.

Chat it up

You are more likely to be accepted if you seem genuinely interested in people and conversation. Ask questions and listen. An awkward silence may happen. We’re human. Awkward silences happen all the time. But, if her parents notice that for the majority of the time you were making a meaningful effort, the silence won’t be counted against you.

Practice the “Now, How Did You Two Meet?” Story

With the way things are going these days, the majority of you are in relationships that started with a lot less than a handshake, and a lot more than a handjob. Be prepared to answer this inevitable question with something you both rehearse, so as not to have two different stories that make you look like a liar.

Turn Off Your Phone

This goes with meeting anybody. Answering a phone call to someone that isn’t on their death bed or freshly hit by a car communicates that you could care less about the people in front of you. And THIS is the easiest way to lose brownie points, especially with dad.

Warm Up to Siblings

Personally, I’d cut it pretty short with someone that didn’t care to make nice with my brother. Being the only one I have, it would be pretty awful if I didn’t see him as much because he and my person didn’t get along. Get him to like you. He’s pretty alright.



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