Relationships are work. Especially long ones. You have a whole chunk of your life that you can’t reminisce about without seeing that person’s face pop-up in your brain like an annoying chihuahua that you want to drop kick, but don’t, because Sarah McLaughlin would probably sing about it. You put in so much of your time, effort, heart, mind, and money into this one relationship, that when it comes to finding a new one, you find yourself either wanting to immediately cut to the chase, or deliberately avoid any ounce of commitment that could possibly arise.
“Where do you see us going?”
“My room’s pretty nice.”
It’s not that you’re a bad person, and it’s not that you have low standards. What it really boils down to, is you not feeling like trying. And even if it makes you look like a terrible human, no one can really blame you for it. Let’s be real, after one-too many attempts at finding the right person and not having any of those attempts work out after you were ‘oh so sure’ that they would, it’s hard to invest that same kind of momentum and effort into anything else that comes your way. Compromise after compromise is tiring and emotionally draining.
So how do you combat dating fatigue? Expect and accept to be uncomfortable for a little while, and know that “reality” is just a seven letter word for “Stop thinking that every person that comes your way is going to be the love of your life.” This person more often than not comes later on – which is actually really great in the grand scheme of things because as much as you think you know who you are as a person right now, your values and morals will be much more solidified and true to who you are down the road. And this, is what makes it easy to find the right person eventually. So give yourself some time.
If you do find yourself on a date in the near future, get to know that person as a person, not as a real-life comparison of your most recent ex. Turn off the dating fatigue inhibition that will arise, and relax. You don’t have to marry this person. You don’t have to love this person. You just have to get to know them for the next hour over dinner. Are people still doing that?
Old relationships don’t write the script for new ones.